The former top-class sports family Vanderveeren has welcomed
its first Viking son. Magnus, the strategic lovechild of Yannick Vanderveeren
and his Norwegian wife Ingrid Ăstbye, is expected to revitalize the glorious Vanderveeren´s
sporting history. Fifteen years ago, that success story suddenly ended when
Yannick decided to choose books in stead of balls. Now, he considers it as his duty to
rectify that historical error.
"From the moment I seduced Ingrid in 2011 at the stairs of
the Brussels Stock Exchange in the swirling december snow, the
myth arose that I selected her just for her looks and her oil Krones. But
that´s
ridiculous. Ingrid's genetic material combined with the VDV DNA, provides plenty
of sports career opportunities. Her twin brother looks like an Abercrombie
model on skis and her other brother is a talented football player. Several
sport agents already want to obtain the image rights of Magnus.
Considering the sporting background of both families, football
seems like a logical choice for the youngest Vanderveeren. But Yannick doesn´t
want to push his son into one direction: "Norway
has been longing for decades for a first top tennis player, while the Flemish
ski jumping record of Tom Waes clearly can be improved. Of course I want to see
Magnus shine at Wimbledon, but he should do what he wants to do. And I´m sure that will lead him to a professional sports
career."
According to Magnus´s mother, his birth creates great
political opportunities. "By offering Flanders a first Viking Vanderveeren, I hope
to improve the relationship between Norway and the rest of Europe. It hurts the
Norwegian people that our European brother nations look at us as selfish oil
sheikhs. Magnus Vanderveeren is the best proof that we do want to share an
important part of our natural sources. However, I apologize for my ancestors
who during their raids alongside the Flemish coast never impregnated a member
of House Vanderveeren. The European sports history would have looked completely
different."
As an extra gesture of rapprochment towards Flanders, Ingrid choose to give
birth on Flemish soil. An emotional decision, which will offer Magnus dual
citizenship. "The future of Norway now lies at the heart of Europe, while I have
to admit that the ease with which local gynaecologes offer epidural anesthesia also
played a role. A child that is made in Ibiza deserves a birth in la-la land.
But what if Magnus will not be able to reach the upper
echelons of society? "We´re not thinking about disaster scenarios. One look at Magnus says it all: this kid has got what it takes.
Otherwise I would have put a clause in my marriage contract," declares his proud father.
Yannick and Ingrid are still discussing a possible baptism: "I´m
afraid Magnus will lose a lot of useful hours in church on Sunday mornings. He
should spend that valuable time on the tennis courts. Before his birth, I promised to provide him all the necessary wings. But a baptism would limit his
scope. Although I also understand his mother´s point of view, which
considers the Christian sacrament as an essential root."
